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Tips for Keeping Your Family at the Dining Table

These days we rarely take time to sit down and enjoy a meal. Yet a healthy meal with people we love in beautiful surroundings can make our lives feel rich and abundant. It is a wonderful opportunity to connect with your family, nurture your body and feed your senses.

Make dining a ritual. Try to eat dinner at about the same time each night to establish a routine. Give everyone a reminder 15 minutes before dinner to get ready. Let your children help you cook, set the table, have a “drink” or something to nibble on. Wait for everyone to be seated to begin eating. Acknowledge the start of the meal with a blessing, grace, a statement of thanks for the food and cook or even just a simple “bon appetite.”
Dim the lights and light candles. Even if you are eating early and it is not dark out yet light candles to set the mood. Little children are mesmerized by fire. Make it a treat for children to blow out the candles when everyone is finished.
Present the food as attractively as possible. For example, use colorful vegetables like bright green broccoli next to orange carrots, in addition to be attractive, colorful food is usually healthier for you.
Have everyone sit down together, but have realistic expectations. A two-year-old may not sit at the table for very long. Even sitting together for dinner for five minutes is an okay place to start. For older children with busy schedules, you may require they sit with you for one meal a day or four meals a week. If having dinner together doesn’t work, perhaps breakfast is better time for a family meal than dinner.
Be a role model. If your young children see you jump up to answer the phone or get up and down while eating, they will too. Make a commitment to turn off the ringers or let the answering machine pick up during dinner. Encourage teenagers who may have their own phones to make plans before dinner.
Have everything you need for your meal on the table so you won’t be going back and forth to the kitchen every few minutes. This is particularly important when you have little children who may need assistance, you may want to have an extra cloth for spills, and cut their food in advance.
Reconsider what “at the table” means. Many times 18 month -3 years olds are much happier sitting at their “little” table. They feel more independent, in control and it just is more comfortable sitting in a place that fits your body. Pull the “little” table close to you table so you can see each other, talk and still feel like you are sharing a meal.
Eat family style. There is something nice about seeing all the food on the table and helping yourself. It also cuts down on having to get up and down to go into the kitchen. Often toddlers will eat if they can help themselves (from a limited selection) and fill their own plate.
Create a centerpiece. Keep the focus on the center of the table. In addition to candles, have a bowl or fresh fruit or fresh flowers. You could have seasonal objects or objects from nature. Even toddlers will appreciate a beautifully set table. So if you have a children’s table consider floating a single blossom in a small bowl. Or let your young children create their own centerpiece with stones found on a walk, flowers, or sand from the beach in a pretty container.
When the weather is nice, create an outdoor eating area. Children usually love eating outside. Add potted trees, fruit trees or plants to create an outdoor feel and bring nature in during seasons when you need to say indoors.
Ideally dining rooms are located in a “quiet” part of the house.
If you live alone and find yourself eating in front of the TV every night, try setting the table, lighting a candle, and playing some music to entice yourself to eat at the table a few nights a week. Or invite some friends over for a weekly potluck.
Keep the dining room table clear, or if it has another use during the day make sure to clear it after you finish the project, work etc. Occasionally, dining tables become dumping grounds for clutter. Find other places to sort mail, or place your stuff.
You don’t need a dining room to have a family meal. Kitchens in many ways are the hearth of home and are therefore excellent places to gather.
Make a meal special by eating somewhere a little different. Place some pillows on the floor by the coffee table in your living room or gather around the kitchen island.
In Feng Shui everything is made up of energy. Often dining rooms are very yang places- high ceiling, large rooms when in fact they should have a yin energy. Yin is characterized by soft, curved, small, dark. You can create this by using warm colors in your dining room, rounded furniture, curtains and tablecloths. Also add a rug to slow down the energy, make it more comfortable and ground the legs of the dining table. If you have very high ceilings, try creating a strong horizontal line at a more intimate height by painting, hanging your art and curtains at a lower height. Also angle the furniture in the corners to create a more nurturing energy and prevent the energy from stagnating in corners.
Think about your favorite restaurant where you not only love the food, but also the environment—somewhere where you just want to sit for hours. What qualities does it have? What colors? What style? What kind of chairs? Music? Lighting? Try bringing some of those elements into your home.
While large mirrors in dining rooms can look beautiful, they make a room feel more active by doubling the motion in the room (also, it is not always appetizing to watch yourself eat). To keep everyone relaxed and comfortable place artwork or wall hangings in the dining room. You could also place a smaller mirror. If you use a large mirror to bring in light, open up a small space or reflect a great outdoor view, you may need to add flowers, pottery, or other objects to screen the table from the mirror. In Feng Shui mirrors in the dining room can be used to increase wealth energy because they reflect and therefore double your food. (being able to eat, choose good food represents wealth)
Make sure the art in the dining room is art that you love and is suitable to eating—no dead animals or gruesome scenes. Seascapes and landscapes will be relaxing and can also compensate for lack of a view.
Get some help from colors. Colors affect our emotions and even evoke physical responses. Orange is a great color in the dining room- it is a social color and stimulates the appetite. You do not need to paint the entire room orange- you can have a bowl of oranges on the table or orange accents. Red (not too much or it can lead to high emotions and arguing) and other warm colors such as beige terra cotta are great yin colors to create an intimate space. Another direction would be to use peaceful colors such as blues, greens, creams, yellows or other pastels.
Choose comfortable chairs. This is key to keeping everyone at the table. In general, upholstered chairs are more comfortable and cozy and will make you feel like hanging out even after you are finished eating. Be mindful of little children, who may not fit or be comfortable in adult sized furniture. A great solution is the Kinderchair with a cushion because you can adjust the height as your child grows. Make sure the chairs can easily scoot in and out. You do not want frustration or obstacles to sitting comfortably at the table. Make sure the chairs are at the proper height- you also want to avoid someone’s knees hitting the edge of the table. Finally, be mindful of tall or large men who may need a certain size chair to feel comfortable.
Check the views from each chair. Ideally everyone will have a pleasing view. If this is not the case, try to create one with artwork, or close doors, screen or curtain off any unpleasant views.
Keep the door to the kitchen closed. Cooking is very active energy and you will not be as apt to linger at the table if you are reminded of the dishes that will need to be done, etc... If you can’t close off the kitchen at least turn off the kitchen lights while you eat.
Avoid placing larger or more comfortable chairs at the head of the table. Promote equality in terms of comfort and conversation.
Circular and oval tables promote better conversation and generate a more even energy flow, which creates greater family harmony.
Solid wood tables are more comfortable, connect us to nature and ground the energy, as opposed to glass or metal where the energy moves too quickly for relaxed eating. If you have glass or metal table add a tablecloth. Also choose a table where the legs do not get in the way of comfortable seating.
Ideally, the bathroom is not located near the dining area. If it is always keep the door closed.

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